post up what youve heard or would find funny, ive heard of kanuter valve and muffler bearings, i actually had my dumb friend call autozone asking for a kanuter valve the guy laughed at him it was really funny
Its going to cost $750 to replace your front brakes.
-any chain muffler/brake shop.
We already took the old one off, now you need $750 in front brakes before we can pass it.
service writer: sure its covered unless we prove that it was abused or raced
me: sure thing buddy
my inner monologue: The fucking car came with a membership to the SCCA you fucking moron!
Which also states it will void the warranty if raced. 
That said I still have mine in the glovebox, I wonder if it’s still good.
third gens are fast
Its fast (honda salemen on a 03 Si testdrive)
oh yeah, we changed the timing belt, of course!
3wks later upon removing valve cover: No, you huge liar, it was not. Die
we sold a kanuter plug to someone at circuit city when i used to work there
Silly Rob…you’re just supposed to read the magazines…not actually race the car. 
When I got my WRX in spring 2001 I told the salesman I was looking for a sedan not a wagon. He replied…well that’s a good thing because they don’t make a WRX wagon. :mamoru:
Your car will be done in a couple months…2 years later is ready to rock.
when valvoline told me my coolant was too old and it wont protect my engine properly (on a 6 month old radiator and coolant) and i told them to screw themselves.
Engine shops… You NEED splayed 4 bolt caps, and forged pistons…at ~least~ (even when the engine was “built” for 300HP. :rolleyes:
Muffler Shop…(smearing tons of that clay/sealer on where he tried to clamp it and it still leaked) “We, use this all the time, it ensures a good seal”. Me: Its still leaking Them: it wont when it dries still leaked.
Repair shop to a gf of mine a few yrs ago when he car wouldnt start. :it needs a alt and a battery. I went there to find out how they came to that conclusion. There answer (in a Im the mechanic, you’re retarded tone) It doesnt start and when we jump it it will run it will die afte a few hours. I tell them its not the problem and didnt want neither thing. After a few days of pulling my hair out…it was a fuckin trunk light staying on killing the battery.
Another Mechanic: situation; a bolt was loose-ish on the end link on a Equinox causing a “Squeeking” in the front end. I tell the owner I can tighten it and probably fix it. He goes ove ry head to a sltealer I mean dealer and they quote him $100 some dollars to replace the end link. Short story…he just gets the part and has me look at it. I tighten the bolts a few ft lbs. and it stops squeeking. He STILL wanted the new part on there (quiet too) because he knows nothing about cars.
I have 100’s of storied.
I’ve also had a shop “try” to pull my inspection sticker before even looking at the car. I pissed off and intimidated the guys when I said, “WTF are u doing???:” “What if it doesnt pass???” Their simple reply was, “well, we fix it so it will pass.” I said, “no, I will fix it.” “I just want an inspection” They scurry off to taddle to the boss… Boss tells me that if it doesnt pass, I cant drive it out or they ~can~ call the cops. I told them they could call the cops so I can tell them how they are trying to rip me off. So, in the end I left while calling him a few names. Some shops make all shops look bad and scare people from getting there car fixed.
OH OH OH!!! A dealer told me and my friend that a IROC we were looking at had a 'vette engine in it. (classic CLASSIC fuckin line.)
He was ~almost~ stumped when I look at the emmission label and point out…“didnt know 'vette’s had 305’s”. OOPS! He being the sly snake he was, “oh, they “swapped” a corvette engine into it.” But, oddly enough there were no recipts or any proff of this.
Ass holes…
i can’t wait to get further and further from the 80s so I don’t ever have to hear about the VETTE ENGINE IN A CAMARO!
but wait. The same friggin thing happened with the LT1
then the LS1
if i have to hear this ‘the camaro has a corvette engine!!’ shit one more time, i’m gonna flip the fuck out.
at least the LS1 dynos about identical in both vettes and f-bods, but still - 5.7TPIS only came with aluminum heads STOCK if they came in a corvette
/rant
i like to go into an autozone and ask for a radiator for an aircooled vw te hehe