A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished
to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was
picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the
pillow
that was addressed to “Dad.”
With the worst premonition he opened
the envelope with
trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that
I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I
wanted
to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I have been finding real passion
with Stacy and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of
all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact
that she is much older than I am. But it’s not only the passion…Dad
she’s
pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has
opened
my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone.
We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the
other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that
science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better.
She deserves it. Don’t worry Dad. I’m
15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m
over at Tommy’s house.
I Just wanted to remind you that there
are worse things in life than a report card
That’s in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it’s safe to come home.
