I am furious right now…after a 30 minute rape by Cheektowaga cops…
Before tonight, i had heard many rumors about how terrible Cheektowaga cops are…all are confirmed in my mind as of now…
The Story:
Dropped Melissa off at home from the DVD release party, stop and get gas…and decide, wtf, i’ve only had the car on the road a few days, why not go for a relaxing cruise and enjoy it for a bit on a nice and cool night. I took Sheridan down to Transit, Transit to French, French to Union, and was on Union going home…when it all started.
I saw 2 cops pulling over some guy, and 2 sidestreets later on the left, 2 more pulled out. One pulled out passing me, the other pulled out going in the same direction i was, getting right behind me. I knew what i was in for right away, and i wanted to just pull over on my own rather than wait for the cop to turn on the lights and make it official, but i knew that would look suspicious so i just kept driving, right at the speed limit.
I get to Vern lane, my stop, turn on the left signal, get in the left turning lane, and then the lights come on. A minivan was going the same speed as me, directly to my right, the entire time, so i couldn’t just pull over. I decided to just continue right into the 7-11 parking lot immediately to my left, and turned off the car, got my license/reg/insurance in hand, and waited patiently with the window down.
Immediately:
Bitch - “What the hell are you doing pulling over to the left? do you think you can just continue making your turns and going whereever you want until it’s convenient for you to pull over?”
Me - “Um no, i was in the left turning lane, with my signal on, and i didn’t want to pull over into the van that was next to me so i pulled into the next best spot”
Bitch - “There wasn’t a single car in sight, let alone one right next to you, i was here so i would know (as if i wasn’t here too… :bloated: ).”
She asks whose car it is, why there’s no front plate, why i haven’t fixed the exaust (because it’s not broken…um, duh), etc etc…
I tell her nothing but the truth, where i was coming from, the exact route i took on my relaxing cruise…how i got to where i was, etc…
Bitch - “So let me get this straight…you drove out of your way at least 5 miles when you live right here?”
Me - “Yeah, like i said i wanted to go for a ride, i just put the car on the road a few days ago, and want to enjoy it. Some people jog, some read, some play video games…i find it relaxing to take a leisure ride in a toy i’ve worked very hard for”
She tells me to hang on…and disappears to her car for a while…until another cop gets there with two male officers.
She comes back, with one guy behind her, and the other behind the passenger door, and proceeds to tell me that my (perfectly logical) story doesn’t match up…and asks if i have any drugs, knives, weapons, etc, in the car that she should know about. I say, i think i have a pocket knife in the glove box because it serves as an excellent flat head screwdriver in a 17 year old car where parts like to find ways to make themselves loose…
Bitch - “So if i go through the car i won’t find anything i’m not supposed to?”
Me - “No…”
Me - “You’re not gonna break anything i hope”
Bitch - “What kinda stupid question is that? why the hell would you say that?”
Me - “It was kind of a joke…sorry…trying to ease tension. It’s a 17 year old car, things break easy…”
Bitch - “Step out of the car please.”
:shrug::tdown::2fingers::eek::wtf::gotme::ohnoes:
I’m THROWN against the hood of the police car, and the parking lot is full of gravel, so when the bitch starts kicking the inners of my feet to spread my legs, i go into all but a full split, and ask politely if i can stand myself up a bit before i tear my pants. She agrees reluctantly.
Bitch - “Is there anything in your pockets that might poke me or that you shouldn’t have that i need to be made aware of”
Me - “No mam”
She proceeds to frisk me, very rough…i kinda liked it 
One of the dude cops was walking around the car, asking lots of questions just shootin the shit with me “what year is it? how long have you had it? how many miles? turbos really make a difference huh…take it to a track yet? you like it?”
Really cool guy…
Bitch then proceeds to get even friskier, sticking hands down front and back of my pants…
Me - “I don’t think my girlfriend would appreciate that”
Bitch - “You don’t think she would appreciate what?”
Me - “Your hands down my pants”
Male Officer - “Hey, watch your mouth”
Bitch - "If my hands were down your pants, you’d know it.
Me - “Just another joke, sorry.”
Bitch - [Opens back door to her car] “Please get in the car. You’re not under arrest.”
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
I squeeze in the back of the car, and her and Mr. Cool Officer decide to COMPLETELY tear my whole car apart. Seats were moved, everything in center console/glovebox moved around and tossed about, got a good 15 minutes.
Meanwhile, 2nd Male officer opens door to explain to me why i should always pull over to the right, and that i can get a ticket for just pulling to the left. He was really cool about it, and i honestly had no idea what i did was that wrong. I know you’re supposed to normally pull over to the right, but i must have been the only person in the world to see this previously mentioned mini van that was right next to me at the time the lights started flashing. He then shuts the door again, and leaves me alone in there.
Bitch is done with her rape of my pants and vehicle now, so she comes back to her car to have a little chat with me.
Bitch - “At first you had a real attitude with me, but then you calmed down and we began to get somewhere. There’s a lot going on tonight and we’re not taking any chances out here. When somebody tells me they live 2 blocks away, and are coming from Kenmore, when the direction i caught them coming from was clearly not Kenmore, it’s going to raise some alarms”
This I understood…but i still think her taactics were a bit excessive…
Bitch - “Everything in the car looked good. I didn’t break anything as you requested (she can be a smartass but i can’t…obviously). You didn’t complete your responsibility in making sure the car was road legal before registering and insuring it. You’ve had it on the road before, and have had plenty of time to put that front plate on”
Me - “There’s no holes in the front bumper for it”
Bitch has no response…and lets me out of the car…
Me - “Can i have my cell phone back”
Bitch - “It’s on my hood”
I grab my cell, and then ask for my licencse/reg/insurance info back…she says: “Just get in your damn car and i’ll bring it to you”
I do just that…
She brings it over, and tells me to go home.
By this time, half the neighborhood is standing outside, by 7-11, all enjoying the show. I live in a smaller neighborhood, and have lived here my whole life…so everybody knows me and/or my family. Embarassed the shit outta me. Spent a good 10 minutes afterwards standing outside with the 7-11 owner/employee, sharing laughs, and bitching about all the free time these pigs must have…it’s a saturday night, there’s obviously drunks out somewhere…but they find it more necessary to harass me…
I should have looked at her badge, found out where she resides, and mailed her some Midol…compliments of the guy whose pants you stuck your hand in, once for work, and once for fun…
She clearly inspected my wang for weapons more than once…if there wasn’t a knife there the first time, there wouldn’t be one there the second or third time she dove in…what can i say, it’s impressive.
/RANT!!!
