[716]: no one said being a bills fan is easy.
<3
Did you actually send that in? lol
i thought i did… unfortunately i dont see it there… 
I posted a few up there and they never get posted… the site sucks. bash.org was way better anyway
(716): I dont get the whole pirates and ninjas thing. I like pirates
(1-716): Lemme explain… in the long, ago old battle between pirates and ninjas, there stand two forces and two forces only: pirates (who for the lack of a better word are low life, unskilled, drunk thieves) and ninjas (who are cunning, smart, stealthy, agile, skilled, get all the women, cure cancer, stop global warming, ect). Because of these two sides, us mortal beings of this earth must choose which side we support, if not for their cause but for our livelihood and survival. I my dear, have sided with ninjas and will forever remain faithful.
(716): So what ur trying to say is that your not going to get laid tonight?
(1-716): touche.
(910): I can’t believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
(703): Can i come over
(240): After you called me a desperate slut? No
(240): Come over
(248): I can’t get in trouble, i’m smoking a bong in the office right now
(248): Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
(312): It’s worth it.
(248): How worth it?
(312): Back door worth it
(810): Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
(941): i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
(212): Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants…
(212): Really
(941): You win
(773): I will come over but only if I don’t have to take my sunglasses off for it
(423) 2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that’ll keep you in place
annnnddddd psycho LOL!!!
(214): Fuck u you updated twitter but didn’t answer my text
(214): I know you’re alive
LOL ShiftDead will like this one
(414): and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, “I DON’T WANT TO BE A SMURF!” no more uv blue for you.
UGH UV 
OMG i’m in tears…LOL!!!
(571): So I went home with some chick last night… I’m not sue what’s worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
(404): Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
(1-404): Two?
(404): Two.
(609): I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there…
(1-609): and?
(609): RIP clitoris
(617): dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick. :lol:
rofl 617 is some nasty shit
(914): woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat… jameson strikes again
(727): She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to ‘teach her the ways of the force’. I just couldn’t do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can’t tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
(631): Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
(716):
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Joe??
(267):
dibs on John Mayer’s hood pass
LOLOLOL
HAHA just saw that one from a month ago. Not me but I’d like to meet whoever it was.
(507):
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
DREAM GIRL
(916): He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants