www.textsfromlastnight.com ftw

NYSpeed Automotive NYSpeed Off Topic
141

(214):

Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.

AHAHAHAAHA

142

omg. If this is real, that guy is my hero. LOL

143

All that is man

144

So many good 420 related ones

145

(985):

I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones

(519):

her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs

146

wtf happened to this?

147

lol

(215):
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you

(828):
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled ‘2nd base’ and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.

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(203):
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget… either its a canadian thing or hes wasted

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(314):
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.

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(570):
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer… its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time

148

Fry for the save

149

That one was great.

150

(215):
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he’ll go

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(604):
She didn’t know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.

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(604):
She didn’t know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.

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(802):
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.

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(973):
I’m watching CSI, they found semen in the woman’s ear.

(1-973):
Guess she heard her killer coming

Wah waaaaah