Have ya ever said something really stupid and realized you said it in front of the wrong person? Like totally offensive and when you say it you feel like 2 feet tall? Last night i was in my ol’ mans bar having a few beers. My wife and her attractive friend are just walking out. On the way in is one of my wifes hair clients. Well as soon as she leaves he sits down next to me not knowing who i was and says “Boy id eat the corn outta their shit anyday!”:jawdrop: ROFL i look at the guy next to me as he looks at me knowing it was my wife, & chuckle. I then turn to the guy who said it and said “Well thank you, i take that as a compliment-She’s my wife” Oh man the look on his face was priceless!! LOL just wondering how often silly shit like this happens.
LOL nice.
i havent done anything too bad besides talk about how “retarded” someone is in front of someone who is a bit challenged themselves. That was last night actually, but i don’t think he noticed.
lol
dont have any pics of the wife on the 'puter. I ate all the corn.
Make out with me Jay
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my buddy tried to give a high five to a kid without a hand during a ski trip…the kid was a good sport about it though.
i once yelled at a kid to stop making faces at me when i worked at a bike store. turns out he had turrets.
:lol:
What kind of turrets were they? Like the ones on a tank, or the ones on a fortress?
Or did you mean Tourette’s? 
One of my coworkers was talkin’ to me, telling me how an ex-coworker was outside and I go “Really!? Wait… is his girlfriend with him!?” (The only reason I ask is because even though I’ve never met her, I knew she was VERY jealous and I didn’t want her to get the wrong idea, because she’s heard my name before.) Turns out she was standing at the counter right behind my coworker and goes “I’m his girlfriend.” My mind just went completely blank as I tried to explain who I was and why I asked.
It was so fucking awkward. I ended up giving her a discount on cigs cuz I felt like a complete douche.
last weekend i was at a friends place for a lil GTG … and one of the guys dropped his beer and i blurted out
“JESUS CHRIST USE TWO FUCKING HANDS!!”
his nickname … stubs … he CANT use 2 hands …
was having a few beers at a house party, playing kings/circle of death.
one of the kids there was a friend, but not real close as i had only met him that summer. didnt know that when he drinks, he loses his ability to control his studdering problem.
9 bust a rhyme comes up, he goes to rhyme and studders. and me being drunk start saying “to to today ju ju junior” from billy madison. “KID CANT EVEN READ!!!” yeah everyone goes quiet, and i’m like “what?”
another time i was at a sabres game with a friend visiting me in town. he had his fiance with him. i have 2 tix in lower levels, but only two, so since there were three of us we just went and got some random seats in the nosebleeds. on the way up i mentioned i hadnt sat in the bleeds yet but looked forward to it. then i said, the only bad thing is “this is where all the canucks sit” oh yeah, his fiance is from toronto. and she totally called me out on it too…“and thats bad because???” yeah i mumbled my way through a horrible excuse and halfway through just apologized for being a dick
one day a guy at my dads place was getting fired after like 7 years, and i had no idea. he had already been fired, and i happened to fixed something big just moments before. he was in the shop saying his goodbyes, and i walked up to him, and jokingly go “jesus christ, you guys would be fucked without me!”… i still didnt know he had been fired until he left like 30 min later…
wow i felt like a dick
i do when my toenails get too long
you got me.
at a resturarnt out of state… our waiter…err…waitress.
lets just say. She had a moustache and everything else. and she sat us and before I heard her speak I went to ask her where the bathroom was.
“sir? where is the bathrooms”
-dirty ass look
“right over there”- in a girls voice
i felt wierd