What has 4 Balls and 6 legs?
Peter, Paul, and Mary
What’s the worst part about eating a vegetable?
Getting her out of the wheel chair
Up for '09
Why do leprechauns laugh when they run???
Cuz the grass tickles their nuts… 
Why couldn’t Helen Keller scream as she fell off the mountain?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
She was wearing mittens.
A man brings his daughter into the doctor’s office, and says, “I want to put my daughter on the birth control pill.”
Doctor says, “Sir she is only 12 or 13.”
Father says, “Shes 13 and I want her to be on the pill.”
Doctor concerned asks, “Is you daughter sexually active?”
Father replies, “Heck no, She just lies there and does nothing like her mother”
If an African American (politically correct so I don’t get banned) lived in a sweatshirt, where would he live???
IN THE HOOD
Why did Barbie never get pregnant?
Because Ken always came in a different box.
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw a spectacular gorgeous woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. As if his prayers were answered, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, “Business trip or vacation?”
She turned, smiled, and said, “Business. The Annual Sexual Education Convention in Chicago.”
He swallowed hard. Here was this most beautiful woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for sex education! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your business role at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really,” he said. “What myths are those?”
“Well,” she explained. “One popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed, when in fact it’s the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent. We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern Redneck.”
Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I really shouldn’t be discussing this with you. I don’t even know your name.”
“It’s Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba.”
I’m surprised no one got into the dead baby jokes. Well, I’m glad, actually.
lol @ me, it took until post 39 to figure out where the answers were, I almost asked why no one told the answeres…
haha
Why don’t you buy a women a watch?
Because there’s one on the stove.
Why do women have shorter feet then men?
So they can stand closer to the stove.
:fry:
what did the mexican say when 2 houses fell on him?
get off me homes
you asked for it:
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 scoop of ice cream, 1 scoop of dead baby
I had a dream last night that i was a muffler…
It was exhausting…
How many dead babies does it take to paint a house?
It depends on how hard you throw them
what did the ocean say to the beach?
nothing,it just waved
Why did the condom cross the road?
It got pissed off.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Why are rhinos wrinkly?
Because they are hard to iron.
Whats the difference between a dump truck full of dead babies and a dump truck full of beach balls?
You cant unload the dump truck full of beach balls with a pitch fork.
Whats blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
Dad cooks a deer and doesn’t tell the kids what it is. He gives 1 clue, “it’s what your mom calls me.” His young son yells to the young daughter, “it’s a fuckin’ dick, don’t eat it!!”
An airplane was crashing. One of the female passengers began to freak out. She stood up and started to shout, “I can’t die like this! I have to die feeling like a woman!”
She then stripped off all of her clothes and continued with the yelling, “Is there anyone on this plane man enough to make me feel like a woman?!!”
As she said this one of the male passengers stood up and removed his shirt. He held it out and said, “Here! Iron this!”