Thursday morning at 10:00 I bring my car to Ajax Nissan to get my brake master cylinder replaced due to it’s leaking. I bring them a new master cylinder from parts source and like 3 bottles of synthetic dot4 fluid.
They tell me “2 hours labour” it will be done by 3pm. 10am to 3pm = 5 hours?
A bit confused, I agree to the service.
At 3 they call me and say “the part you supplied us with is faulty, it’s leaking.”
I say “what do you mean? it’s a brand new (re-man’d with new internals) master”
They say “it’s leaking, we need you to get a new one”
I think “why the fuck didn’t you call me earlier, you cock sucking fairy? no place will get me the part by today”
I say “fine. i’ll have for tomorrow”
This morning, the part is brought to them at around 11:30. I assume my car will be done asap.
They call me at 5pm (one hour before they close) and say “where’s your battery? we can’t find it and the car won’t start”
I think “are you the most incompetant dealership in the world? I should have taken my car to get fixed by three-year old cousin who i’m sure could distinguish that there are ONLY TWO possible locations for a battery: the front or the back. MY CAR IS GUTTED WITH NO TINTS. You can see the battery from outside the car, a block away, at night, with sunglasses on”
I say “It’s in the trunk.”
They say “We can’t have it ready by tonight. The mechanic couldn’t find the battery and therefore, couldn’t get the car in the shop when he started working on it at 4pm. You’ll have it by monday.”
I say “what happened between 4pm when he started working on it, and 5pm when you decided to call me and tell me you can’t find the battery?”
they say “we’re very busy blah blah blah.”
I say " i’ll tell you what: you have two options…i need my car by tonight OR i need a rental by tonight. I work all weekend."
they say “we don’t have any cars available.”
I think “What the fuck do you mean you don’t have any cars available? YOU’RE A FUCKING DEALERSHIP. YOU SELL CARS. YOU HAVE CARS EVERYWHERE!”
I say “what do you mean you don’t have any cars”
he says “because of the weather all of our cars are gone”
I think “listen you heathen, i will seriously kidnap your daughter and force her into anal sex without lubrication if you don’t a) give me my car or b) give me a rental.”
I pretty much hang up.
Later, around 5:30 my dad decides to rent me a car. We call everywhere and we finally wind up settling on the pickering volkswagen dealership. We go in and of course:
“sorry we can’t have him on the insurance because you have to be 25 to rent.”
after letting the fury build, we leave.
I tell my dad “we’re going to nissan and i’m going to get a car.”
he says “it’s ten to six”
I say “give me your phone”
I call nissan and release the fury “There is NO WAY i am forking out my money to rent a car when it’s YOUR FAULT my car isn’t ready. I recieved a phone call at 5pm telling me you can’t find the battery. WORK was started on my car at 4pm. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MAGICAL HOUR IN BETWEEN?”
he says “we’re very busy and the mechanic couldn’t find the battery.”
I say “why didn’t you call me at 4. as SOON as you realized you couldn’t find the battery?”
he says “we’re very busy and the mechanic couldn’t find the battery.”
After exchanging some more words I ask to speak to the manager.
The manager comes on and I say “I brought you a part yesterday to get put on my car. I understand that it was leaking, FINE. one day is gone. Today I bring you a part that isn’t leaking at 11:00 this morning. I understand that my car began being worked on at 4pm”
He says “that’s correct”
I say “I recieved a phone call at 5pm asking where the battery was. What happened inbetween 4 and 5?”
He says “I’m a fucking retard and we hire monkeys who have undergone lobotomies to work on our cars. I failed grades 4-8 and have been working at nissan ever since.”
He really says “The mechanic couldn’t find the battery. We are trying to fit you in the best we can but you must understand that we have other appointments going on during the day and so fitting your car in is the best we can do.”
I say “You’re not understanding me. It’s great that you fit me in. And I love the fact that you began work on my car at 4pm. My question is WHY WASN’T I CALLED THE SECOND YOU REALIZED YOU CAN’T FIND THE BATTERY? had you called me at 4, there would have been two hours between 4 and 6 where my car could have been fixed.”
he says “we’re very busy blah blah blah you’re lucky we’re even fitting your car in today. I have mechanics working overtime to fix your car and it was your fault that you brought us a faulty master cylinder.”
I say “That was yesterday. today, at 11 I gave you a working master cylinder.”
Pushing all that aside, I realize that nobody understands me.
I say “Okay, fine monday is fine. I need a rental car because I work all weekend. So either I get my car back today, or I get a rental car today.”
He says “I can’t give you a rental because you brought us a faulty master yesterday.”
I say “Are you kidding me? I serious cannot comprehend what you’re saying. Are you telling me that because I brought you a faulty cylinder YESTERDAY you can’t give me a rental TODAY? There is absolutely no way i’m forking out my own money to rent a car when it’s not my fault. It’s not my fault that YOU didn’t call me at 4 telling me that you couldn’t find the battery.”
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
In the end he says “I am doing my best to get your car finished today and then he says the hardlines are seized and some of the calipers. I will not give you a car to rent because of the faulty part you gave us yesterday, the only time we promised you was by 3pm yesterday.”
I repeat “but you never called me at 4 today when you couldn’t find the battery”
blah blah blah
they won’t rent me a car.
Finally in the end, I cool down and we talk like civilized human beings. He says the car will be ready by 9am tomorrow if all goes well. and he’ll call me. he apologizes, I apologize. I guess I shouldn’t have flipped out. Whatever.
He also mentions the safety issue of my cracked subframe and says he won’t allow a technicial to go out in the car. I say that’s fair. he says it’s held together by a coat hanger. I say I know, it’ll be fixed. he says okay good, with all the power you’ve got under the hood, you’re gonna need to keep your rear end planted without having a wheel pop off. I laugh. good times.