Yes, I am positive this will generate quite a few smart ass comments (unless this isn’t Pittspeed anymore) but maybe I can get just a little bit of feedback.
I’m up in the air about how to deal with this. I am having a problem with an ex-boyfriend of my girlfriend’s getting in contact with her more often that I would care to worry about…
There hasn’t been a word spoken to him in over a year but he will still randomly call, send her an e-mail, etc. Even after she has said numerous times to leave her alone.
I don’t know how I should react? Should i call him and let him know what’s up? I don’t wanna put myself on a record for being threatening or harrassing, but flat out ignoring it isn’t solving the problem.
I don’t know about a restraining order because he has never shown up anywhere, and he lives in Cleveland, we’re in Pittsburgh. She does fear he may come down here becasue he is a few crayons short of a box.
Any ideas on how I can get the point across to him in the most legit way without causing problems on myself?
Change cell number, email and so fourth. That way there is NO confrontation at all and he as no way of getting ah old of her. If he does so happen to come to Pitt to find her and he walks on your property either A> Shoot him in the foot or B. Call the cops and then you have an actual record and can either get a restraining order or press charges.
This is a topic I know all too well lol. For real usually if you talk with them in a non threatening way they usually respect that. But I agree that she should consider changing her e-mail address +/- telephone#. I use to remember my ex use to get phone calls from her ex—it’s a shitty feeling. Sometimes people can’t move on so they revert back to old flames to attempt to patch things back to were they once were. As far as a restraining order goes I’m not quite sure how that would work, you may want to contact your local police department. None the less goodluck man, it’s a rough situation.
no luck on restraining orders…honestly dont waist the courts and your time.
its also not for you to get involved. and you go to any police dept. and they will tell you the same thing.
change the email, and if the phone thing is getting that bad…opt to change that too.
keep records!!! If need be, the police (if you know someone) can file a harassment charge. They can contact this person and tell them what the deal is, and if it does not stop then further action will be taken…but again not much they can do bc police DO NOT deal with civil matters. but if you report it, and its on record, if something were to ever happen, god forbid, you have proof of his actions.
is this a case where it bothers you that he still stays in contact…or that it bothers her?
dont get your self all bunched up over some guy in a completely diff state!!! if its been a year or more since theyve even seen each other…what are you worried about?
Also, he can text, email, call all he wants…no disrespect but it only becomes a problem when the gf answers it…just tell her to ignore it. If she pursues then it looks like she still cares.
Thanks for all the input so far, it definitely helps.
It’s not enough to make me really worry, becuase it’s so sporadic (once every month or so), but yet it’s still happening. And it’s just little stuff like “Hey how ya doin, get back to me.” stuff… It’s more creepy than anything else.
And we have been ignoring it… but I think it might just take a call to him to let him know.
its not a “we” problem…its a “her” problem. If its so sporatic…then who cares!! And SHE should be the one to tell this guy “hey I moved on, theres no chance, please stop calling”
We have a winner. Anybody will stop calling/caring eventually. She needs to stop giving him hope. Being “nice” doesn’t work, just ask all the people who stay in a relationship because they don’t want to be mean, then it’s that much worse when they do break it off, or they end up in a loveless marriage.
Don’t be nice, don’t call him, just cut all ties…immediately.
