So today Richard went out to look at a car with the intentions of doing some work on it and then either selling it retail or just wholesaleing it at auction for a quick profit. Here is a quick list of the things you should and shouldn’t do as a seller when attempting to sell a vehicle to anyone. I had a shit ton of time to think about this doing 10 muther fucking miles an hour on the Thruway in a snow storm where everyopne turns into a fucking vagina fart and drives like snow is a new weather occurance in Buffalo.
DON’T
Be a fucking person who does not understand English, plain and simple. If you are not from here originally, I give you all the credit in the world coming to the US and trying to make a sucess of yourself. I know if I tried to sell a car in Spain, Italy, Brazil, or Germany it would be a complete cluster fuck.
Keep telling me over and over again “Iz grade khar.” “You like?” Yes asshole, i know you want to sell me this car, but stop fucking standing over my shoulder when I do ANYTHING.
Tell me “Needz nuding.” when I point out that the steering wheel looks as if I’m turing it all the way to the right yet the car is going straight. Or that it needs brakes and you say “Ghoowd bhrakes.”
Make me fucking play a game of shirades trying to get you to understand what the fuck I’m talking about.
Take it personal when I offer you less then your asking price as if I’m saying you are less of a person because your car needs some work. If you are selling a car for X and I know it needs a minimum of $300 before I even tear into it, I’m going to offer you X-$500, and even that is generous as I really don’t dig working on cars just to break even
Ask me if I like your fucking Volvo when I’m here to look at an Audi as I have no fucking clue about Volvo’s.
Ask me if I’m interested in your Volvo after you had a shit fit over what I offered you for your Audi
DO
Have a person present who has at least an elementary school level understanding of English. That way when i’m telling you there is a sound coming from the back that sounds like the car needs brake work you don’t just understand the very last word there, “brakes” and then say “Ghoowd Bhrakes”
Let me take the car for a test drive by myself that way i don’t have to listen to you babble in the back telling me how great this car is
Let me take it for a test drive longer then up and down your 150 foot long side street. I might want to actually get the car up to 45mph, maybe if I’m feeling adventerous, 60mph, GASP!!!
Counter my offer with what you feel is a good price instead of stomping your fucking feet and walking into the house in a huff. If you think my offer of X-500 is too low, say X-200, then we might agree at X-300 and you will have sold your car. I was going to tell him how long his car had been for sale and that he needed to sell it more then I needed to buy it, but that would be a waste of time as you have no understanding of English.
Come up with a better rebuttle/lie when I make an offer that you don’t like other then
“Sum ohne kum yest day, he say give me $X.” Yeah asshole, someone came yesterday and said they would give you your full asking price, that is why the car is still here. Also, why did I have to brush the snow off of it when it hasn’t snowed here in a few days if someone came yesterday to look at it and offered you the full amount? Did this person just love the way your car looked covered in snow so much that he creamed his pants and said “i have to have that snow covered car, fuck looking at it or brushing off the snow, I want it the way it sits with 3” of powder on it, FUCK A TEST DRIVE! Again, that would fall under the you have no fucking clue of English, what a waste of time this was.
I can not stress this enough, I don’t care where you came from or anything like that, just have a fucking translator/shirades partner present so when I ask you about control arms you don’t look at me like I have 3 fucking heads crossed with a dear caught in headlights
