i will get into way too much trouble for this lol…
me: yo girl, when you gonna let me tap that
her: lol wat?
me: you know… tap that
her: shut up lol
me: no… srsly
her: no
me: i fail.
her: haha
edit…
her: wait, are you serious?
me: no, it was a joke
her: =D
Me: sooo… tapping that, when can I
Her: You haven’t talked to me since last time…
Me: …Uhm…
i wasn’t going to send any out… then i decided ehhh wtf who cares lol… convos to follow.
First
Me when you…
Her: never
Me why
Her who is this?
Me ted
Her that is why joe
Me really cause I remember you having a STD in which we suddenly I stopped talking to u.
NextMe when you…
Her I am free Thursday around 1 but have to leave at 130
Me so you wanna cuddle for 28 minutes
Her: wait are you going to cry for 28 minutes?
Well done Jen.
UPDATE: So I get home from work and find her laying naked in my bed waiting for me. I don’t even know how she got in the house and I don’t care.
Me: When you gonna let me tap that?
Her: What?
Me: You heard me.
Her: If you’re drinking, don’t drive. Feed the dog. Me and your father will be home tomorrow night. Love you, stay safe.
Me: When you gonna let me that that?
Her: LOL I’m not home.
Me: Where are you? I wanna tap that.
Her: I’m visiting colleges with my parents.
Funniest one yet
Girl 1:
Me: Hey girl, when can i tap that?
her: Haha WHAT?
Me: Don’t play dumb.
her: darling, the last thing i am is dumb.
me: you’re avoiding the question.
her: …
Me: i fail.
Girl 2:
Me: Hey girl, when can i tap that?
her: tap what? the keg i have at my house?
me: no, that ass. DUH.
her: hmm, let me check my schedule. i’ve been awfully booked, ya know…summer time and all
me: ditto
her: yeah, you must be crazy busy with all of your ladies, not sure i could hold out that long.
me: you’re no fun.
Girl 3:
me: Hey girl, when can i tap that?
her: lol WHAT?
me: when…can…i…tap…that…ass?
her: You going out tonight?
Me: absolutely:
her: maybe i’ll see you tonight then. Busy Tuesday?
me: epic win.
Girl 4, whom i haven’t talked to in weeks. She wanted it, i was supposed to go out with her on her birthday…decided to not show up, not respond to texts/calls at all for the past few weeks, and reintroduce myself by texting her the first time in weeks after bailing on her birthday/dinner with this:
Me: Hey girl, when can i tap that?
her: not lookin too good for you, sorry.
Me: lol
her: why would you even text me that? like it would actually happen.
me: damn right it wouldn’t.
girl 1
me: so when u gonna let me tap that?
her: you think i can handle ya 
me: only one way to find out!
her: ohhh baby!
me: see you in an hour?
her: make it two, I’m at work
win? I hope she took me seriously 
girl 2
me: hey I have a ? for u
her: shoot
me: when you gonna let me tap that
her: tap what? lol
me: haha that aaasssssss!
her: maybe… we never see each other
me: whos fault is that?!
still waiting for text back
girl 3
me: hey
her: hey stranger
me: why has it been so long since i’ve seen you
her: i dunno
me: so when you gonna let me tap that
her: hey hey!
me: pick you up in an hour?
her: no lol I’m at work
me: touche’
hahahaha this is hilarious… some girls really aren’t into it though lol
me: hey so when you gonna let me tap that
her: who the fuck is this
then phone call from blocked number,
its her screaming angry boyfriend… ahahaha.
as in dj lil joe C ? i’ll send him the same thing
me: so, when you gonna let me tap that
her: don’t you do that every night?
Indeed I do!
ME: Hey Girl…
Her: After you feed me
ME: But I have something better than food to give you
Her: Want food first or no deal.
Fucking shit I don’t want breakfast just some banging.
A+
Me: When you…
Her: what are you talking about
Me: exactly what it says
Her: It was random
Me: Ya. So when you gonna…
Her: I dont know…
Me: Tonight?
still waiting for a reply…
this is 4 pages of pure hilariousness.
You’re doing it wrong.
I’m a girl. What do you expect?
try it out on a guy, I’m curious to see how they would respond