The worst day of my life is today...

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81

The waiting part is the hardest. I am not sure if my mind will hold on, with anticipation, or if I’ll actually let myself go. It seemed very evident to me when I just talked to her on the phone, that she wants to be extremely selfish right now, and only worry about herself. She is being so selfish, in fact, that she doesn’t even care what anyone else thinks about what she did… including me, her ex-fiance. It’s as if she just woke up and decided to not deal with what anyone else says, and just think about her.

I told her we could work it out, and she said “thats impossible, because I don’t even want to deal with a relationship. I don’t want to worry about what someone else thinks, or have someone else there for me. I just want to be me. There is no way that you can help me be me, by myself.”

So, it truly is over… unless when she calms down, and in 2 to 3 weeks, she realizes what she did, and wants me back. Or, she could go the other way, and be happy with her decision, and realize that being selfish is so much easier for her to handle, and do what I did when I was younger… be a complete asshole to everyone, and not give two shits about what they think. I grew out of it, but it may very well happen to her too. I don’t think I should sit here waiting… it truly is over, and I now need to figure out what to do next. Its only me again, and I don’t have anyone to be there with me by my side in the road to life. I just have to deal…

82

go find someone new. bitches can’t stand to be replaced. if you really want her back, make her think she’s been replaced.

seriously, go out tonight and get drunk. have fun, take your mind off of things.

83

that was me.

poose, learn to log out of MY computer.

84

ok man after that letter you seriously have to let it go. please man i dont even know you and i do not want to see you in this pain. i have been there and i think it is the most biggest pain i have had in my life. id rather break bones in my body then go through a long term relationship break up. i just plain fucking kills you. like others have said…your nerves get shot,wont eat,drink and feel like shit all of the time,you will losse soo much weight and your ass will be in soo much pain from shitting every 3 seconds…i have even seen ppl lose jobs over this. DO NOT LET HER BRING YOU LIFE DOWN!. Belive me man i know. i have been through this two times. i did it all wrong becuase all of the flowers,cards,candies,cute things i did,i love you Voice mails GOT ME NO WHERE!!. Im am going to assume that your not gonna pick right up like ZeroDaze said…so for the next month you will prolley suffer pretty good. just keep that head up,following month she will still be on your mind but not to the point where it will affect you day…by 3 full months she should be out of your head about 95% and that should be good enough.

my mom cheated on my dad after 23 years,and past 2 Gf’s have fucked around on me. watching a grown man(my dad) drop to his knees and beg to my mother in front of me hurt me like you would not belive. it made a father figure not look like a father but a little bitch. where did it get him? no where!

if a chick wants to be with you she just wont leave no matter how bad she is pissed. she will want to work it out with ya and give it that other shot to see if things play out. this girl does not with you so please just walk away.

85

She has so much going on in her life, she is very very confused. I am positive that at 19 years old, she sees so many different directions to take, and she doesn’t know what to do. We have broken up before, even harsher than this time, but we got back together two weeks later. It was almost the exact same reason.

This, now that we were engaged hurt a lot more, because I was in a different mindset. But, she now seems extremely certain that she definitely doesn’t want to miss out on college and finding herself, and doesn’t want anyone there to hold her back. I don’t think we ended it horribly, but she wants to put herself first, and not have to worry about what anyone else thinks when she does something she wants.

Maybe I’ll try to be friends with her. I mean, i know her fully, I still care for her… and if I can’t be with her, I can at least keep her in my life. She was always the one I love watching football with, because she loves it more than me! It may not work out, but I think I want to give it a shot.

86

like i said…walk away from now…tell her u still wanna be friends. but then tell her you need some time to recover. wait three months till you over her-then give her a call.

hey ya never know…maybe sometime down the road after school and when her head is on straight you might get back togther. but if you want that chance leave her compleatly alone for right now

87

I think i understand what you’re saying. I just went through a huge emotional blow, and my nerve and my brain are shot. I still have thoughts and feelings of us together, and if i ask her to watch the football game tomorrow as friends… it will turn ugly. Right?

Too soon… I need recovery time, and i bet she does too. Our lives just totally changed

88

it means she’s 19 and i’m sensing a considerable age difference between you two… i’ve been dealing with a 4-year gap with a girl for the past… four+ years and man…

trust me. your life is ONLY GOING TO GET EASIER FROM THIS POINT ON.

89

Ok, most people say age is just a number.

Once in a great while, it is not true.

Unfortunately for you, this is not the case.

Sorry Jeff.

Only thing you can do, is let time heal all wounds.

Perhaps this scar will leave an imprint and you will learn from this situation.

Stop contact, stop showing you care, she knows you do already. Perhaps, in some time, she will realize what she has lost and crawl back. But at that point, do you really want her back?

Try not to let feeling interfere with common sense

Move on, don’t try, do it.

It sucks, but whatever…

90

Well, I went out last night and had a good time for the most part! My costume was a huge success with the girls, and I got a ton of smiles and “you’re hot” all night long. I realized though, that I have no game anymore. I turned it off a long time ago… so, it was tough.

Going out made me feel good, but it also made me feel like crap. I saw the costume that Erica was wearing on numerous girls, and they all were friggin hot in it. It was a skimpy skirt, and a low cut top showing the tummy. It was the female gangster costume. I realized that she is out somewhere else getting hit on by tons of guys, and that she could be doing anything, and not even thinking of me. I was upset. And the whole night, I just wanted her to be there so that we could dance together. At one point, she was the only person I wanted to dance with…

I couldn’t really sleep, because I had Erica racing through my brain again, wondering what she did last night, with who, and I don’t know how to turn it off in my brain. I do want to care about her, and think about her, and be a part of her life… and, I know I’m not a part of her life anymore. It’s like I’m scared that shes doing things that would hurt me, but she doesn’t care anymore, because thats what she wanted to do. It’s like being stabbed in the chest, or the feeling of being cheated on. She could very well have done anything last night, and she doesn’t have anyone to answer to for it… and I get sick over it, because it hurts so bad over and over.

I want to get over her so bad, and not care anymore! I was able to look at other girls last night and think they were hot, which was a good start, as I never did that when we were together. I just want to stop thinking about what shes thinking, and worrying that shes not thinking about me! I know it’s over, and I know I have to move on… so, why is my brain doing this to me? I find myself calling her to talk to her, because I want her to be thinking of me at that moment, so I feel better. I hate not knowing what is going on in her life, or whats going on with her… and fearing that she doesn’t care whats going on in my life anymore.

91

The only way you’re going to get over this is to start hating her

sorry

/truth

92

One thing to remember, girls that are that young, usually don’t know what the fuck they want. Hell, it probably takes them up to late 20’s to figure out what they want. Getting engaged that young is not wise for that reason. You are ready to start your next life and she still has a lot fo growing up to do. Probably better that this happened now that it happening after you two were married and you have to start splitting up the furniture, etc…

93

word. even though you know you don’t hate her, just act like you do, and you’ll get over her faster. Eventually you’ll even forget about her.

Start looking for girls that don’t remind you of her too. start with looks, mainly hair and eye colors. ex: if she was a blonde with blue eyes, start looking for brunettes with brown eyes or redheads with green eyes. sidenote: hot redheads already know they’re hot, and if you treat them just the right way, they’ll fuck on the first date. PIIHB will get your ex off your mind.

94

i am sorry to hear what has happened to you. I think everyone here has given great advice. I def think killing ALL contact has to happen. Let her wonder about what’s going on in your life. Make her think you don’t give two fucks. My advice to add is go out have fun, have a stress reliever. Mine is my punching bag. Just don’t do anything stupid because you’re in pain. The very day after me and my girl broke up, I went out on my motorcycle (croth rocket), did stupid shit, wheelies, high speeds, etc. and crashed into a guardrail that almost cut me in half. All b/c my mind was somewhere else and I didn’t care. She went to the hospital right away and we realized how much we meant to each other. We’ve been together ever since but something will happen, hopefully not that drastic, that will tell you if it’s meant to be or not. Hang in there and keep talking to people about it. It always helps me anyway.

95

Thanks for all of the advice guys. As most of you that have been through this before, you realize how hard it is to make a rational decision as your brain is racing through the emotional side-effects of a break up. I am finding myself in that situation. I am getting so much advice from so many people, I am acting erratic, and talking to her and texting her, and then telling her i dont want to talk to her and then calling her again… I’m being retarded.

So, I left her a voice mail that seemed to be perfect as I said it, because I was calm. I then called her, and we talked… and we talked about a few nice things and it was the first time since the breakup, we weren’t heated to talk to the other person. I did most of the talking, and we just agreed on what I was saying. One of the reasons she left, is because she didnt want all that extra thought process involved with a relationship, and then after we break up… i was demanding MORE from you. I told her sorry, and she understood based on my emotional distress. We decided that we would try to be friends, but that we both need some time to settle down first… so, one day, we’ll talk again. I feel a lot better after that conversation, as it wasnt mean or hateful or emotional… it was just talking.

I know I may be doing the wrong thing, but that is a risk I am willing to take. I know that if I cut her out of my life completely, in time, I would have been OK. I decided instead to take all items reminding me of her, and putting them in a box. I deleted all of her messages either through email, my desktop, my phone and took all of her pictures and burned them to a CD and deleted them, to help me get her off of my mind. I even removed her from my AIM and my MySpace, so that I don’t get the inclination to wonder where she is or how shes doing. I am just going to take some time and see if my mind calms down, and see what happens. Maybe after all of this it won’t work, and at that time, I’ll know. But, right now with my emotional instability, there is no way for me to rationally come up with a solution, or decide on a decision like not wanting her in my life ever again.

You guys are still a great support for me, and I thank even the people that have never gotten along with me for writing some good advice for me! You’re all great people.

96

well well…

maybe its time to move on?

be strong, buddy…

97

:frowning: I’m sorry. It’s hard to make a relationship among two people at two different stages of life work. It’s not impossible, but it’s very difficult. You’ll be fine–you seem like a good guy.

98

fuckin bullshit…just went through the same thing today…there’s some kinda conspiracy goin on…it’s gotta be the worst feeling in the world…lesson learned: give your heart out and it will definately get stomped; I always put other people before myself, maybe I should learn not to anymore…I hate feeling like shit…been with my girlfriend for a little over 2 years, and now I’m torn apart…I hope this feeling goes away soon, I just don’t feel like myself

99

^^ sorry to hear that dude, ( i feel like i know you again after we realized we met at prom!) and im sorry to hearabout your situation too clean baldy, like everyone else here i was through the same thing, but im so glad it happened, yes i was a pussy and lost about 20 pounds, but that made me a hella lot hotter. And I thank her for breaking up with me when ever i see her because it helped me get way better girls, and she ended up getting this nasty bf who is still stuck with her. So yes a takes a while but it is way worth it in the long run, Good Luck

100

possibly the worst part of it…it takes quite a bit for my family’s approval, so I feel your pain…