CLIFFS:
10:20PM: in 25 minutes time Kevin and I:
-Have a mad trucker blow out a tire 10 feet ahead of us then want to kill me.
-Blind father driving family stuffs me in the wall like racecar.
-Blacks under the influance of something try make me get into an accident.
-Someone else under the influance probably, cut out infont of us under a red light and almost hit us head on.
now go read it for details and many LOLZ!!!
So my brother and I spend the night up at Darryls working on the ranger. At the end of the night we both leave in two cars. So on the ride home down the thruway I am following him cruise set at 75 music cranked having a grand old time when we come up on a trailer to pass in the driving lane, a truck about 5 lenghts behind the trailer in the middle lane doing the same speed as the trailer like a retard and a Navigator with two young chicks who caught up to us a while back and are cruising around 3 car lengths behind me keeping pace in the far left lane, like retards. Speed up, slow down, speed up, slow down but wont pass me. Kevin moves over behind the idiot truck and then moves to the far passing lane, I go to move over, the truck hits the breaks for some reason as I get behind it, then the dumb bitches in the navigator think its funny to boot it and box me out… so i send it over like racecar just infront and get around them all without touching a pedal or crusie controll. WTF :retardclap. We both boot it for a sec to distance from the, then keep going back at 75. About 4 miles up the road the bitches in the navigator catch up and again hanging out in the left lane (now 2 lanes wide) as we approach a tractor trailer I again have to pass, this time i make sure i watch like an eagle the bitches and sure enough they boot it to box me out again, nope i was ready and cut ahead as they are like 5 cars back, didnt speed up or slow down, fuckem i am going arond the truck no rush no rage. kevin is about 3 lenghts ahead of the truck, and I am about to the back tire when BAAAAMMMMMMOOOOOO! Motherfuckin recap blows right infront of me, I take giant piece off the windshield, another right off the front end, rocks, concrete more giant rubber chunks plaster me as I go to start slowing down and the FUCKING NAVIGATOR IS ABOUT TO HIT ME, doesnt even see whats going on… prolly texting or some shit. I get pelted more, and finally she slows down and the truck pulls over I start pulling over and they fly by.
So I am ahead of the truck in the shoulder, i walk up to the pass side of the truck and the dude just sits there, as he watched me walk up. So I stand on the guard rail, reach with one hand and just steady myself with my left hand on his grab bar… dude has the window up, I look at him as he looks at me for the “ummm you gunna roll the fucking window down???” ammount of time, then i knock on the glass! he rolls it down and says “get your hands off my fucking truck!” UMADBRO? :rofl “Dude you fucking pepered my car bro, I wondered if you have a flash light to see if it caused any damange.” “IF IT DID” he goes! as he is holding a mag light! “If it did I fucking call my insurance company. And if you think you are going to solve this issue with that maglight right now, its a good thing that car backing up right now is my bigger brother… so chill out.” He gets out and we look at my car, just scuffed and no major damage. He chills out, and actually said he was sorry for starting with me. We shoot the shit for a min and take off.
Now, I am at the amsterdam exit, kevin behind me now, we both go through the ezpass on the right and a minivan about 10 cars ahead already went through the ticket lane… Green light for the right, I am on the inside of the turn and the minivan decides to be like RACECAR, dive deep, cut to the inside (side of me) and stuff me just about in the guard rail, I miss the rail and keep going up towards the exit ramp luckly right after the turn, side by side, look over the fucking guy has NO CLUE i am there, BUT HIS LITTLE KID IN THE PASS SIDE FRONT AND BACK, see me there! again I look over like “WTF IS GOING ON NOW” the little kid must have said, “um dad, you about to hit this guy” then he looks over, panics for a second and then gets PISSED lookin! And points at me like I am the asshole!!! WTF #2! I hit the brakes, keven watched the entire thing, and blows by him, get behind and around him and boot it again, get me the fuck away from these idiots.
NOW, no more than 5 more miles, we split off, and a block later I come up on another retard… doing 40 in a 45, and I am cruise on 45, i get about 20 cars back and they throw the right blinker on, and start to slow down… like they are pulling into a house, then boot it once I get about 10 cars back already slowing down, thinking they are turning into a driveway. NOPE, boot it for a sec, then slow down again 100 feet down the road. Now I am still like 10 cars back keeping pace, still thinking maybe they are going to pull in and just dont remember where they live. nope use another 200 feet to slow to a snales pace to take a right! all the time blinker on. They go around the turn, blinker goes off, we start up the hill, now I assume they are just old fucks who cant see down the road or something. I am back 10-15 cars to be safe, dont needa any more shit tonight. NOPE, we start up a long hill, phone rings, its kevin laughing to him self “hold on I have some old fucks lost looking for home ahead of me, hang on” …ahead the idiots blinker, brakes and errrrry thing come on, and they slow down again, going up the hill! finally they pull on to the shoulder stop, and waive me by!!! no more than 10 feet to the crest of a BLIND HILL! :ponder So I slow down, and dont see any headlight in the air, so I know nothing is coming… pull along side, they have the interior lights on, two middle BLACK MALES in their mid 40’s maybe? all scruffy looking in a dumpy 1990 green caravan! The driver yells “why dont you get off my ass back there???” all fucked up sounding. So I go “WHAT? I was 10-20+ cars behind your dumb asses the entire way watching your blinker stay on for 2000 feet! And now you are letting me by 10 feet from the crest of a BLIND HILL… REAL FUCKING SMART YOU DUMB *!gg**s.”
WTF#3 in 20 minutes.
So Keven is now laughing his ass off and goes “Dude wtf is going on tonight with us???” I explaine what just happened, as I am about 2 miles up the road pullin into my drive way. He tells me he a few mins ago he pulled up to a green light going down a 1 way in the city. He sees a car coming down the hill aproaching the RED LIGHT, just about 100 feet prior to him about to go through the light, the dude rolls through the redlight infront of him, TAKES A FUCKING LEFT AND STARTS HEADING THE WRONG WAY DOWN THE ONE WAY!!! He goes around them and just about gets hit!!! They just kept going and were clue less too!!! HOLY FUCK. WTF #4 Now by this point in the conversation, I already got out of my car stood there for a good minute listening to the story from Kevin, said good night and hung up… I hear a car coming, rather slow, I look down my road (keep in mind I am in the sticks here), about 3 miles from where the dumb NI*##RS from WTF #3 let me by at the hill. This car is coming no brake lights on, just putzing along at all of 10mph, with the left hand blinker on, no doubt from taking the left about 1/4 mile down on to my road… CLUELESS IDIOT. Guess who it is now… THE 1990 CARAVAN with the stoned and/or drunk mid 40’s black individules!!! :rofl They just keep going on down the road, never hit the brakes, sped up or slowed down, as far down as I could see, blinker on the entire time!!! GOTTA BE STONE RETARDED or something. WTF #5 of the night in 25 minutes!!!
I cant make this shit up people… how the fuck does all this happen to me!!!